


Roy Vs Douglas

by thethingthathasnoname



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 21:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2556365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethingthathasnoname/pseuds/thethingthathasnoname





	Roy Vs Douglas

“Jeeen…” came the call from Douglas, the boss of Reynholm Industries, as he marched pompously into the basement where the IT department dwelled. He was not an uncommon sight around here as of recent times due to his, ill-concealed, crush on Jen, the relationship manager of IT.

Moss and Roy looked up at him.

“Have you tried turning it off and…” Roy started but Douglas cut him off.

“I’m not here for computer help, I’m here for Jen.” Douglas smirked in his smarmiest voice.

Roy saw Jen’s face appear at her office window, looking petrified at the sight of Douglas. She shook her head frantically at Roy before disappearing again.

“I’m afraid she’s not here right now.” Roy lied.

“Yes she is.” Douglas narrowed his eyes.

“How do you know?” Roy asked, baffled.

“I can smell her on the air. I can hear her breaths. I can feeeel her presence.” Douglas whispered. Roy shuddered.

“Really?” he attempted to shuffle away a bit.

“No, of course not, you fool. I have her stalked.” Douglas admitted as if it was the most normal and understandable thing to do.

“Riiiight…” Roy blinked.

“So thanks for your help but I’ll see you later, Ron. Bye now.” And with that, Douglas walked straight into Jen’s office.

 

Jen knew that Roy wouldn’t be able to hold Douglas off for long. He was a weak liar. A weak man all around. Therefore she was not really surprised when Douglas strolled into her office for the eighth time that week. And it was only Wednesday.

“Ah, Jen. I was hoping to find you here.” Douglas slid into the chair opposite and rested his hands on the table.

“How can I help you?” Jen offered politely.

“Oh, how can you help me indeed.” Douglas leant forward and winked suggestively. “I think you know exactly how, Jen.”

“Mr Reynholm…” Jen began standing up. She had had enough with his inappropriate and degrading attitude and she was going to tell him once and for all.

“Honey, call me Douglas.” He stood up too, cutting her off.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No!”

“Pretty please?”

“Will it make you shut up?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine. Douglas...”

“Oh, yes, honey. You know how much I love it when you say my name.” Douglas took a step towards her, round the desk. She took a step back.

“Douglas…” she began again, ignoring his eyebrow quirk. “I do not find your attitude or behaviour towards me acceptable or… attractive. I want nothing to do with you in that way and I would like you to treat me as a human being as opposed to just a sexual object.” She was surprised that he was nodding along and so continued. “Therefore, I would prefer if you would not continuously come down here for no reason in particular and would only allow proper contact to be made as opposed to these random appearances.”

“Ok, that seems fair.” Douglas was still nodding.

“Do you have any idea what I just said?” Jen asked, surprised.

“Yep, of course, darling. I listen to every word that comes out of those sugar lips. Now, am I allowed to kiss you or do we have to force conversation a little longer?”

“For the last time, Douglas! I do not want to kiss you!” Jen exclaimed.

“Keep telling yourself that, darling.” Douglas leant forward, adopting a wonky accent.

There was a pause.

“You do realise that Captain Jack Sparrow is not attractive on anyone other than Johnny Depp?” Jen squinted at him.

“You think I’m attractive?” Douglas purred.

“No. I think you are disgusting.” Jen countered.

“Oh, I love it when you play hard to get.” Douglas lunged forward. Jen deftly stepped aside and moved closer to the door.

“Now, if you would kindly leave and bear what I said in mind, that would be greatly appreciated.” She signalled to the door which she moved towards and began to turn the handle. Suddenly, she felt his hand on hers, stopping her.

 

“I would much rather appreciate you, here, now. Naked.” Douglas suggested and leaned in to kiss her.

She leant away.

“Get away from me!” she shouted.

“The games are over; you can stop pretending now.” Douglas grinned, making to kiss her again.

“For the last time, Douglas, I am not pretending. I do not like you. At all.” Jen had to refrain from stamping her foot but it made little difference to Douglas who just kept coming at her.

Every move she made sideways, he echoed, following her, trapping her. Moving in on her like a big cat on its prey. He backed her up against the wall.

“Douglas, stop it!” Jen shouted, realising that he literally was not going to listen if she didn’t make it clearer. “Get away from me!”

Suddenly, the door flew open and Roy appeared. Douglas, however, did not step back and appeared unfazed, although a little annoyed, by the interruption.

“Roy!” Jen practically cried with happiness.

“What is it Reg? I haven’t got all day?” Douglas demanded.

Roy’s face looked like a thunderstorm. He stood up tall and straight and it was only then that Jen appreciated just how big he was. Seeing as he was usually hunched behind a computer screen, she didn’t often get to see this display. And he was fuming.

“Get away from her.” He stated.

Jen had never seen Roy angry before. Sure, she had seen him irritated, annoyed, rather exasperated and mildly distraught. But never properly angry. Not like this. It was actually quite scary. He was quiet. And calm. And straight. But with the sort of fire in his eyes that made you feel like if you didn’t do as he said, hell itself would leap straight from his eyeballs into the pits of your soul and burn you alive. It was terrifying. And this, at least, managed to get Douglas’ attention.

“I’m afraid we’re rather busy here.” Douglas attempted and tried to pull Jen back into his arms. But she was struggling stronger than ever and Roy was moving closer.

“You have 3 seconds to let go of her.” Roy whispered.

“Or what?” Douglas asked, attempting bravado.

“3.” Roy took a step towards them.

“Or what?” Douglas asked again, curiously this time.

“2.” Another step.

“Or what?!” This time round there was pure curiosity blatant in Douglas’s tone. And even a touch of terror.

“1.” Final step.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Douglas cried, but still refused to let go of Jen.

“This.” Roy muttered.

And launched his fist at Douglas.

 

It landed, square on his nose, blood immediately spurting from it like a volcano.

Shocked Douglas stepped away and Roy swung his leg under him to trip him. He hit the ground painfully.

Roy moved in again and Douglas actually shuffled away from him, cowering by the desk.

“Get out.” Roy commanded. Douglas didn’t move. “I said, get out.” And this time, the fist accompanied his words and Douglas scuttled off.

“I’ll get you for this… Roy.” Douglas threatened, but one glance from Roy and he was gone.

Roy rushed over to Jen who was still pressed against the wall with shock.

“Oh my God, Jen are you ok?” his hands gently ran all over her face and body as though to find any injuries.

“I’m fine. Just shaken.” She replied, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted. “Did you just?... Did that really just?... I mean… er… thankyou?”

“Ah, its nothing. I can’t believe that man. Are you sure you’re ok?” Roy looked genuinely worried.

“Roy…” Jen sighed. She really couldn’t believe this.

“What?” he asked halfway through cross examining her body and moved to searching her face with his eyes.

“Roy…..” Jen practically whined. This was insane. And incredibly kind of him. And incredibly hot.

And Jen couldn’t take it anymore.

Standing on tiptoes, she pushed herself off the wall and up into his arms, pressing her lips to his. Immediately, she felt his arms close around her and she slid hers up around his neck. Almost automatically, he picked her up, spun her round and sat her on her desk so she was higher up. Their mouths moved fire and ice against each other; hands everywhere, thoughts nowhere. It was all passion and desperation; this meant nothing, right?

Then something strange happened.

Roy had slid his hands up her thighs, clawing tantalisingly at the bottom of her tight, mini-skirt and she had wrapped her legs round him, fingers frantically undoing buttons on his shirt. But slowly, the pace slowed down, the fire and ice vanished and in their wake left a gently blowing calm. Roy’s hands simply rested on her thigh and on her waist, just taking her in. Jen’s fingers lay plainly upon his chest and his arm, feeling what lay beneath. Their mouths carefully tasted each other, playful and innocent and sweet. And that was when the feelings started. Fireworks. Butterflies. Love? They felt their own heated breathing and frantic heart beats. Felt each other’s presence and mood. And simply stayed there, in that moment, for a minute. Before carefully breaking away.

Jen looked at Roy. Roy looked at Jen. Did that seriously just happen? Did the other one feel what they had? What did this all mean for them?

“Soo…” Roy began.

“No, don’t do that, making-it-all-awkward thing.” Jen tried to jump down off the table but stumbled into Roy. His hand automatically went to her waist to catch her. “Er… maybe we should get out of this room with all its stifling tension.” Jen suggested.

“Mmmhmmm.” Roy agreed, but he wasn’t willing to let this go just yet. “But first.” He pulled her back with the hand he had on her waist and kissed her again. When she pulled away, she was smiling.

“Ok.” She nodded, as though considering an interesting business proposal and Roy felt his heart sink. But then she slid her hand into his and walked out of her office bringing him in tow, their smiles beaming for the world to see.


End file.
